Just open them up already okay?
Reason: It shows you're lazy. And lazy isn't a very attractive quality in a person, be it man or woman.
If you can't look cute being this lazy, then you shouldn't be lazy.
Reason: Are you reading the news or collecting them for recycling later? No one likes the smell of old newspapers in the car.
In my defense, One got away.
Reason: You are a dirty little fella, slob, and messy. You must eat in your bed. That's gross.
Reason: This is just disgusting. Throw them away, will ya?
Just move on, already.
Reason: You didn't have the heart to completely cut off your ex from your life. It wasn't because you forgot. It was because you were too afraid to move on, deep down.