Although there’s definitely nothing wrong with being in a traditional relationship, there are many reasons why a particular woman might not want to be in one. For one thing, relationships require a lot of time and energy if they’re going to work well, and not everyone has that to give (or wants to).
A woman also has her options open these days when it comes to running her love life the way she wants to. Friends-with-benefits-style (FWB) relationships are becoming increasingly popular for the way they let people partake in what they like about relationships without making commitments they don’t want and may not be ready for.
But while deciding you’d like to give friends with benefits a try for yourself is pretty easy, choosing the right guy and establishing a situation that really works for you is more of a challenge. Here are some tips for getting it right.
1. Consider why you want a friend with benefits.
As is the case with traditional relationships, there are those who want to enter into a friends with benefits arrangement for the wrong reasons. So make sure yours are the right ones. A FWB relationship isn’t something to jump into because you’re bored or lonely. You don’t want to agree to one in the hopes it will eventually become something more, either.
Friends-with-benefits isn’t a cure-all to everything that might be wrong with someone’s dating life. It is often a good solution for those who are too busy for traditional relationships or don’t feel ready to commit to one. They can make great transitional situations for those who are fresh out of another serious relationship, as well.
2. Pick the right person.
There’s no law out there that says you can’t pick someone you have a history with for a friends-with-benefits relationship. But when you have a history, things can get pretty dramatic pretty quickly – probably the opposite of what you’re looking for. Most people do better simply choosing someone they’re attracted to while also making sure it’s someone they get along with and trust.
You may also want to try meeting someone new who’s looking for the same type of arrangement you are. If you like the idea of being spoiled a little, you may even want to consider the idea of finding a
sugar daddy who’s looking to keep things casual – the best of both worlds.
3. Be honest about what you’re looking for.
These days, just about anything goes when it comes to a person’s love life, so there’s no need to be anything other than 100 percent honest with the people you date. If you get involved with someone from your everyday life, lay your cards on the table right away to avoid leading the other person on.
And if you do decide to explore online dating or sugar dating, be sure to specify the kind of connection you’re looking for right on your profile. If you’re open to seeing where things go later on, you can say so. But if you’re not, be clear about that, too. It’s the best way to avoid wasting your time on someone who wants more than you’re willing to give right now.
4. Set clear ground rules you both agree on.
Although people tend to think of friends-with-benefits relationships as free-for-alls that let you do whatever you want whenever you want, that’s really not the case. The secret to establishing a great situation that will be mutually fulfilling is setting clear ground rules and then sticking to those rules until one or both of you decide to change them.
So decide upfront how things will go between the two of you. Will you both be seeing other people? How involved do you want to be in each other’s lives outside of the “benefits” part of the arrangement? If this is a sugar relationship of any kind, what additional details need to be settled before you proceed?
5. Decide who knows about your relationship (if anyone).
Every friends-with-benefits pair needs to decide how open they want to be with other people about their arrangement. Sure, some people decide they’re cool with other people knowing what’s going on, but most decide it’s easier just to keep things on the down low.
After all, your love life is no one’s business but yours, and often it’s just easier to avoid all the questions people ask about any non-traditional relationship. So decide upfront who you’ll tell, who you’ll leave out of the loop, and under what circumstances you might want to consider telling additional people.
It’s a wonderful time to be alive and dating, as it’s truly up to each person to decide how they’d like their love life to look, women included. So if you think friends-with-benefits is suitable for you, why not dive into it? You might just have the time of your life.