If for some reason you think you ARE the present, then how about wrapping yourself with a bow and present yourself to your Valentine? BlueBella's unique ‘Unwrap Me’ Body Bow has been put up for sale on the online marketplace
Buyma at a price of 7,500 yen (US$64).
This costume is classified as "underwear."
Because clearly you're not wearing this out.
Neither will it be a replacement for your real and more functional undergarments.
What do you think?