The husband who emailed his wife a spreadsheet tracking all the times she turned down sex went viral a couple days ago. It was passive aggressive, and she posted it on Reddit for all to see. Now, here's another version: a wife making a sex spreadsheet too.

Admittedly, sexually frustrated husbands are funnier. Here's the spreadsheet:


Here's a breakdown of the analysis:

1. 9 magic wands in total


2. Watch to much TV


3. Masturbatory acts


The spreadsheet comes from Guyism and they included an email providing some context on the diary. The woman began keeping track of their sex life late into the marriage, which, sadly, eventually ended in divorce.

So a girlfriend of mine had this awful husband. He was a nice enough guy but he didn't pay attention to her and NEVER wanted to have sex. We knew things were bad but she was quiet about it. She's a great girl who deserved better.
Anyway, she finally got tired of his shit and filed for divorce. This was a few years ago. On the night the divorce was final we went out and had a few drinks. There were 10 of us there. She got really drunk and gave us details about their sex life. Like really intimate stuff. Too many details to tell you the truth. She told us that after a few months of marriage, she began keeping a diary of everything that happened. Like everything. We asked her what she meant by that and she told us she would send it by email.
A few days pass and we don’t hear from her. Then like in the middle of the night, a bunch of us get this pdf file. She scanned pages from her diary. It was so beyond funny…I felt terrible for reading it. We all laughed about it for a few weeks.

Don't ignore the loving, people.