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Life in your twenties was probably really exciting. Everyone was having fun together, looking for boyfriends or girlfriends together, starting out at new jobs together, and being a lot more carefree, until somebody gets married. All is good until the next friend gets married too, and if you thought that kind of change was big, wait till they have kids.
While we can't blame them for growing up and having a family, a part of us will always miss the great times shared when we were a lot younger. Some people are lucky if their friends stick around even after getting married and having children. But some get left behind and aren't part of the circle anymore.
Married people or people in relationships always seem to pity the singletons, even though life isn't always tough on single people. Here are some things single people in their 30s are sick of hearing from friends and family:
"Why didn't your relationship with (whomever) work?": "It just wasn't meant to be" would be the easy answer. Stop prodding.
"It's great, he/she wasn’t worth it anyway": We get what you
mean, but demeaning the other person really doesn't help. It also makes us feel like we have shitty taste (which could be true but we don't want to be reminded). Besides, relationships
are never a waste, as long as we learn from them.
"Maybe you're just too picky": Or maybe I just have higher standards than you.
"Aren't you worried about growing old alone?":
Not really, especially when that means not having to deal with nosy
people like you. Stop comparing yourself to our lives, and just be
grateful you have someone there
to share the load when life gets though. We'll be fine because we've built a sort of independence and are 100% functional on our own.
"Let
me tell you why a terrific gal/guy like you is still single....": Yes,
please tell me because you clearly are better at living my life then me.
When you're attending a cousin's wedding, and your relatives keep bugging your parents about
"When is it (your name)'s turn?" , "Don't you want grandkids?" and "Is she/he gay?"
"When are you going to join the rest of your friends and settle down?": It's just dating, not a race to the finish line. As the saying goes, "It's better to be single, than to wish you were."
"Being single is great, you don't have to deal with real problems: Just because I'm not playing house doesn't mean I don't have problems.
"My friend is also single, maybe I should hook you guys up!":
Unless you specifically ask for this favor, chances are the people who keep offering to match make you just want to be the ones credited for "how you two met
up" in the future.
"I'm so glad I found my life partner and put all that single life stuff behind me": This sort of humblebragging is more likely to mean "I feel like I'm missing out, but I don't want to admit it."
"Don't worry about marriage, you’re not really missing anything":
Reverse psychology isn't going to work either. While we're glad you
found your partner, you don't have to pad our egos just because you feel
like we're missing out.
"If only you did/said/wore/etc, then you're sure to find someone":
Not only does this over-simplify the complexities of relationships, but
it's also kind of asking us to be someone we’re not just so that you
can finally indulge in your double dating fantasies.
"I will pray to god to send someone your way": That's great. While you're at it, could you also ask if they could make it rain money over my house.
Cliche advice like, “No man is worth your tears and the only man who is won’t ever make you cry…”:
Not only does this make you sound like a Hallmark card, it also implies
that the pain of relationships only stops after marriage.
In
summary, we're happy for all the couples in the world who have found
"the one." But all we ask is that you guys quit assuming that all
singles suffer a fear of intimacy and will end up dying alone surrounded
by a million cats. Don’t make life all about marital status, because it
isn’t. We have
wisdom and perspective to offer too. It’s just a different wisdom.