20 Unsolicited Advice People Just Love Giving
Jun 28, 2014 21:07
Unsolicited advice is the lowest form of conversation. When people think they know better than you, they'll be more than happy to share a piece of advice to you, even if you didn't ask for it. But sometimes, if nobody asks for it, the best thing is to shut up.
Here are some of the most common advice people love giving:
1. You should really get more sleep because you look tired
Like you don't know this.
2. You should breastfeed your child.
Like you don't know this either.
3. You should eat more vegetables and fruits!
Yes. I know I'm constipated.
4. You might want to consider something more regular, more you..
No, you asshole, I want to go all out, don't you get it?
5. You will have to give up one for the other.. So choose wisely.
Really? What if I know that, but want it all?
6. You ought to be nicer.
If everyone was nice, then the world wouldn't be as fun to talk about.
7. You should support the needy. Give back to society.
What has society given me?! I can't even support myself! Geez!!
8. You have to be the bigger person.
I know. But I don't want to.
9. Just forgive and move on.
Easier said than done.
10. Stop looking for love, it will find you.
I'm not looking, and it still hasn't found me, so shut up.
11. You should make an effort to dress up more often.
Sure. Only if you dress your face up too.
12. If you wanna lose weight you should exercise!
I KNOW. I'm just lazy and like to whine about why I've no idea why I'm fat, repeatedly, so when I tell you I have no idea why I haven't lost weight, just pretend I'm telling you for the first time.
13. You should start thinking about actually being in a serious relationship, you're not getting any younger.
Well maybe I just have issues to deal with before committing, so fuck you.
14. You should start thinking about having kids now because after 35, your quality of egg/sperm is worse.
Just shut up and go stand in a corner.
15. I'm all organic, do you know how amazing my life is? You should go organic too!
The only organic thing I'm doing is attached to another person's body.
16. You shouldn't be spending so much..
Okay. Give me your money then.
17. Drink more water!
As if I don't already know this.
18. Maybe if you were kinder, more patient, and different, he'll ask you to marry him
Are you suggesting that he find someone else?
19. You should go to church more often..
You should be a nicer person more often.
20. Don't you read the news? You should!
What for, when I have you to tell me what's going on anyway.
Here are some of the most common advice people love giving:
1. You should really get more sleep because you look tired
Like you don't know this.
2. You should breastfeed your child.
Like you don't know this either.
3. You should eat more vegetables and fruits!
Yes. I know I'm constipated.
4. You might want to consider something more regular, more you..
No, you asshole, I want to go all out, don't you get it?
5. You will have to give up one for the other.. So choose wisely.
Really? What if I know that, but want it all?
6. You ought to be nicer.
If everyone was nice, then the world wouldn't be as fun to talk about.
7. You should support the needy. Give back to society.
What has society given me?! I can't even support myself! Geez!!
8. You have to be the bigger person.
I know. But I don't want to.
9. Just forgive and move on.
Easier said than done.
10. Stop looking for love, it will find you.
I'm not looking, and it still hasn't found me, so shut up.
11. You should make an effort to dress up more often.
Sure. Only if you dress your face up too.
12. If you wanna lose weight you should exercise!
I KNOW. I'm just lazy and like to whine about why I've no idea why I'm fat, repeatedly, so when I tell you I have no idea why I haven't lost weight, just pretend I'm telling you for the first time.
13. You should start thinking about actually being in a serious relationship, you're not getting any younger.
Well maybe I just have issues to deal with before committing, so fuck you.
14. You should start thinking about having kids now because after 35, your quality of egg/sperm is worse.
Just shut up and go stand in a corner.
15. I'm all organic, do you know how amazing my life is? You should go organic too!
The only organic thing I'm doing is attached to another person's body.
16. You shouldn't be spending so much..
Okay. Give me your money then.
17. Drink more water!
As if I don't already know this.
18. Maybe if you were kinder, more patient, and different, he'll ask you to marry him
Are you suggesting that he find someone else?
19. You should go to church more often..
You should be a nicer person more often.
20. Don't you read the news? You should!
What for, when I have you to tell me what's going on anyway.
