13 Worst Things to Say During Sex.. Ever
May 08, 2014 21:46
Anyone can get carried away in the heat of the moment. Sex sessions aren't like what you see in porn, where everyone is saying exactly what they should be saying, and doing hot things they should be doing. Real people like us tend to slip up, in performance, or in speech.
Sometimes saying the wrong thing in bed can ruin a hot and heavy sex session. It felt good, but your loose mouth will make you feel guilty for ruining the fun. Don't be that person! Here are some of the worst things you could say in bed:
"Is it in yet?"
You know how men get when you imply their penis is so tiny it's non-detectable. So don't say it even if you're thinking it.
"Let's just get it over with."
If you wanted to have sex for the sake of it because you have a packed schedule, there's no harm asking your partner for a quickie, just not in this way.
"High five!"
You're an adult. Unless you're casually shagging your friend who thinks high 5s are sexy, you can do better.
"That's it?!"
This statement will kill your partner's enthusiasm for round two. In fact you just made him completely insecure. And then you will question his insecurities and blame him for it.
Any form of baby talk
That voice...... needs to leave the room with your manners. It's a mood killer. Save it for real babies and kittens. In fact you better be worried if he likes it, you pedophile siren.
"Wait, can I have my phone?"
One in five people say they've used their phones during sex. Be the four who don't.
"Are you done yet?"
Oh the pressure. He'll take even longer if you ask him this, and you're also asking for him to go soft. Have some manners!
"Ugh, I'll just do it myself"
Yes you know you can do it better on your own when he can't make you orgasm. But instead of getting agitated at his efforts, communicate. Show him what feels good, or suggest he try a few other moves out.
"Oh, Ryan, yes!"
Okay, so you've decided to mentally invite your celebrity crush into bed with you and your partner. But your partner doesn't need to know. Keep Ryan Gosling in your head, and be careful not to accidentally blurt things like that - he might think you're cheating on him too.
"Oh that reminds me.. I need to get tampons."
You'll have better sex if you cut out distractions. Your partner is probably going to roll his eyes, which is a total put-off.
"You wanna do WHAT?!"
You're probably in shock that your partner has just suggested some creative move they saw in a porn video, and there's no way you can get your legs in that position. But shooting down their fantasy will make them reluctant to open up or try new things with you. Instead, tell him you'll think about it, or throw in a giggle, and say you don't think you're flexible enough to pull it off, then suggest a less complicated position that you can both enjoy.
"My ex used to do it like this…"
HUGE no no. The last thing anyone wants is to be compared IN BED with someone's ex. Put it this way, you wouldn't want to hear how his ex's blowjobbing skills were so irresistibly amazing, he'd explode in two minutes, every time, while yours is 7 minutes in, with no sign of him reaching the end. Keep the comparisons to yourself, honey.
"I love you!"
If you're in a long-term relationship, by all means, say it. It's romantic, and it makes love-making even more intimate. But if you're having sex with someone you just started dating, it might be your orgasm talking. So either don't say it, because your partner might immediately put you in the 'psycho' box in his head, or be clear that you said it because he made you orgasm, and nothing more.
Sometimes saying the wrong thing in bed can ruin a hot and heavy sex session. It felt good, but your loose mouth will make you feel guilty for ruining the fun. Don't be that person! Here are some of the worst things you could say in bed:
"Is it in yet?"
You know how men get when you imply their penis is so tiny it's non-detectable. So don't say it even if you're thinking it.
"Let's just get it over with."
If you wanted to have sex for the sake of it because you have a packed schedule, there's no harm asking your partner for a quickie, just not in this way.
"High five!"
You're an adult. Unless you're casually shagging your friend who thinks high 5s are sexy, you can do better.
"That's it?!"
This statement will kill your partner's enthusiasm for round two. In fact you just made him completely insecure. And then you will question his insecurities and blame him for it.
Any form of baby talk
That voice...... needs to leave the room with your manners. It's a mood killer. Save it for real babies and kittens. In fact you better be worried if he likes it, you pedophile siren.
"Wait, can I have my phone?"
One in five people say they've used their phones during sex. Be the four who don't.
"Are you done yet?"
Oh the pressure. He'll take even longer if you ask him this, and you're also asking for him to go soft. Have some manners!
"Ugh, I'll just do it myself"
Yes you know you can do it better on your own when he can't make you orgasm. But instead of getting agitated at his efforts, communicate. Show him what feels good, or suggest he try a few other moves out.
"Oh, Ryan, yes!"
Okay, so you've decided to mentally invite your celebrity crush into bed with you and your partner. But your partner doesn't need to know. Keep Ryan Gosling in your head, and be careful not to accidentally blurt things like that - he might think you're cheating on him too.
"Oh that reminds me.. I need to get tampons."
You'll have better sex if you cut out distractions. Your partner is probably going to roll his eyes, which is a total put-off.
"You wanna do WHAT?!"
You're probably in shock that your partner has just suggested some creative move they saw in a porn video, and there's no way you can get your legs in that position. But shooting down their fantasy will make them reluctant to open up or try new things with you. Instead, tell him you'll think about it, or throw in a giggle, and say you don't think you're flexible enough to pull it off, then suggest a less complicated position that you can both enjoy.
"My ex used to do it like this…"
HUGE no no. The last thing anyone wants is to be compared IN BED with someone's ex. Put it this way, you wouldn't want to hear how his ex's blowjobbing skills were so irresistibly amazing, he'd explode in two minutes, every time, while yours is 7 minutes in, with no sign of him reaching the end. Keep the comparisons to yourself, honey.
"I love you!"
If you're in a long-term relationship, by all means, say it. It's romantic, and it makes love-making even more intimate. But if you're having sex with someone you just started dating, it might be your orgasm talking. So either don't say it, because your partner might immediately put you in the 'psycho' box in his head, or be clear that you said it because he made you orgasm, and nothing more.
