When Justin Bieber isn't going around smacking stripper ass, he's recording shitty new songs like this one titled "Hold Tight."



Judging by the lyrics, it's pretty obvious that Justin wants everyone to know that he's already a blow job before which totally makes him a bona-fide real man now:

    Don't let this go to your head
    But you're the best, I've ever had
    Not to mention
    That thing is swollen
    You got me oh so in a trance

    Something like a ziploc, but a lip lock
    Want you wrapped around me like a wrist watch
    Oh, so hard walking out
    Got me stuck like crazy glue, ooh

Of course, nothing in those paragraphs suggests that his first BJ came from a girl. So we really wouldn't be surprised if it was a subtle tribute to that pet monkey he abandoned in Germany.