Tyson Wray is The Harshest Music Critic Ever
May 27, 2014 21:15
Do you even read album reviews? Probably not. But here's one writer you should definitely look out for: Tyson Wray. He basically strips an album apart in less than 300 words and gives it an honest review. Check out some of his, actually, hilarious reviews:
"Forgettable"
"Unprotected sex is super fun and partying is cool"
"Making music for sexually frustrated housewives and lobotomised males for two decades"
"Overflowing with uninspiring, translucent and throwaway ideas masked as artistic creativity"
"Committing war crimes against music"
"Forced to butcher Christmas Carols to sell records"
"In-coherent mess of over-produced and played-out rhyme scenes"
"Revel in gratuitous sexual euphemisms passing as female liberation to sell records"
"Musical herpes"
"Can't distinguish if these are actual lyrics or messages she received from shirtless muscle-bros on OKCupid"
Daft Punk
"Forgettable"
Chris Brown
"Unprotected sex is super fun and partying is cool"
Coldplay
"Making music for sexually frustrated housewives and lobotomised males for two decades"
Lady Gaga
"Overflowing with uninspiring, translucent and throwaway ideas masked as artistic creativity"
MKTO
"Committing war crimes against music"
Anthony Callea
"Forced to butcher Christmas Carols to sell records"
Robin Thicke
"In-coherent mess of over-produced and played-out rhyme scenes"
Katy Perry
"Revel in gratuitous sexual euphemisms passing as female liberation to sell records"
Britney Spears
"Musical herpes"
Iggy Azalea
"Can't distinguish if these are actual lyrics or messages she received from shirtless muscle-bros on OKCupid"
