The Most Douchebag Campaign Today: 'Motorboating for Breast Cancer Awareness' [NSFW]
Oct 17, 2013 19:46
This latest Breast Cancer Acknowledging gesture campaign consists of some douchebaggery stunts. It involves a guy motorboating some woman's boobs.
The group responsible for this is the "Simple Pickup". They are the same group of males who forcefully motorboated women at last year's ComicCon and then posted them on the Internet.
Their scheme is simple. Walk around asking women if they can put their faces in their chest and begin motorboating. The group will donate $20 to a breast cancer charity and then make a video about it to get some views.
While the idea of donating to a charity sounds pure noble, we're not so sure about the motorboating. Would you let someone do this to you all in the name of a Breast Cancer Awareness campaign?
Check out the video below:
I know it's tough to watch but, dear readers, please suffer through the entire thing. It's important that we confront the raw reality of douchebaggery — it isn't sexy, glamorous, or dignified. It's disfiguring, horrifying, grotesque. It's kidult males using a serious disease that might one day kill their mothers or sisters or other female humans as an excuse to coerce strangers into letting them rub their Proactive-shellacked faces on their breasts. Douchebaggery is what leads 4's to think the world owes them 9's. Douchebaggery hollows you out from inside.
The bros defended themselves thusly,
“Our intent is always to make people laugh,” Simple Pickup told us in August. “We never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable afterwards. After we film a prank, we inform everyone involved that it was just a joke. If anyone for any reason does not feel comfortable with it, we take down the video immediately.
“In the case of the Tumblr backlash, the videos are being presented in a non-humorous light,” they added. “If someone is presented a prank video out of context, then the video loses [its] initial meaning.”
According to the American Medical Association, doing awful shit and then claiming "IT'S A JOKE/SATIRE!" is the often the first sign of metastatic douchebaggery.
How can a person like you or I, someone who goes out of their way to avoid douchebags, take on a cultural infliction that threatens half of the population? Not with derision, scorn, and shame — those have been scientifically proven to further entrench defensive douchbag behavior in people who are already suffering. No, what douchebags really need is to look in the mirror. So the next time you're approached by a grinning Axe Body Spray-smelling Abercrombie idiot clutching a microphone asking if he can motorboat you For Breast Cancer, tell him that you'll gladly allow him to do with your breasts what he will — as long as he reciprocally consents to an on-street prostate exam from the pedestrian of your choice.
It might seem hopeless, but together, we can win this fight.
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