Most people believe that the end of married life is the end of their sex life. But that is far from true. It might take you some time to get back into the dating game, and slightly longer to get to the ‘having sex’ stage, but there are ways to re-start your sex life after divorce too. The way our society functions, definitely puts more pressure on women than men.
This is why sex after divorce for a woman may seem like a distant reality, but even then, it isn’t impossible. All you need is to have a positive mindset, a healthy self-image, and an open mind to reach a point where you can find a suitable partner and get intimate with them.
Here are a few tips for a better sex life after divorce:
Overcome the anxiety of dating again: Most people who have gone through a divorce feel that romance and physical intimacy are a thing of the past. And those who do look forward to starting dating again feel anxious about going through the entire dating process. Don’t let these mental blocks pull you down and go out and re-ignite the fire within. Age is relative, and most consultants now say that life begins at 40. The sooner you get over your anxiety, the better it is for your mental and physical health. Sex after divorce is just as normal as it was when you first got into a serious relationship.
Don’t become an online stalker before dates: We understand that getting over a divorce is not easy, and people tend to become extra-cautious while starting new relationships. But that doesn’t mean you spoil the fun and excitement of meeting a new person by stalking them online. Neither is it cool nor advisable. One of the most exciting aspects of dating is that you get to know the person afresh, explore their personality slowly and make a connection in your way. Trying to find out every iota of information there is on them online and making an impression beforehand will kill the fun of dating.
Don’t hide your past: We all come with our baggage, and it is always better to reveal your past than keep it hidden. It not only makes the other person more trusting in you, but it also relieves you from the pressure of hiding something. Many experts believe that trusting your gut is the best way to decide when and how you want to reveal your past. Also, as you go along in your new relationship, you would get a fair idea of whether the person is trustworthy, emotionally supporting, and understanding enough for you to unload your emotional baggage in front of them. Make sure you make the right move. Too soon or too late can hamper this new bond.
Rediscover your physical desires: You are never too late or too old to try new things in bed. Leave your past behind and start afresh as you look for sex after separation. The key here is to rediscover your physical desires and try new things with your partner. There are always things that you would have wanted to do but never got a chance to do it. Trying things like reliving your fantasies, couple sex toys to spice things up, role-play, or even BDSM & Bondage can make a huge difference in the way you approach divorced sex. These things are taboos no more. Most sexologists and consultants now say that the above-mentioned ways of sexual exploration strengthen the bond between couples.
Be safe: Safety, be it emotional or physical, is important to have a confident start to your second inning. When you start having sex after divorce, it is imperative to ensure protection from SITs. In this case, women are more vulnerable than men, so sex after divorce for a woman needs even more careful treading than men. Make sure that you know your new partner’s sexual history before jumping into bed. Health check-ups and open conversations about each other’s sexual history are specific ways of ensuring you remain healthy.
So, divorce is not the end of the world. It reopens a whole new life for you if you wish to see it like that. And sex after divorce is one of them. Rebooting your sexual life after an emotional setback can be challenging, but it is not impossible. You just need to have the right approach and be a little adventurous. Don’t shy away from gaining new experiences like using sex toys or fulfilling each other’s fantasies. Going the extra mile in bed only helps create a stronger bond. So, don’t be afraid and enjoy an emotionally and physically fulfilling life.
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