Relation "friends with benefits" - how is it different from the real relationship?
Jul 25, 2019 02:42
Nowadays, there’s a certain social trend - the popularity of relationships known as "friends with benefits". What is it about?
In this relationship, certain benefits go far beyond those we usually associate with friendship. People involved in this relation more or less regularly have sex with each other, but still remain friends and do not form a real relationship. On the one hand, it is a game without obligations, and on the other - something more than an accidental relationship with a stranger.
Why do we start such relationships?
Relationships such as "friends with benefits" are an answer to one of the biggest problems of modern life - the lack of free time that could be devoted to nurturing a love relationship. People in such relationships satisfy the need for closeness through sexual contact with a friend, while maintaining emotional distance. Sometimes the relationship of "friends with benefits" can turn into something more, but very often remains at the stage of friendship. It is worth noting here that these types of relations take different forms: it can be a real friendship, which for one reason or another has not turned into a love, or a superficial acquaintance in which it is only about sex. Between these two poles there is a whole range of intermediate shades. Sometimes the "friends with benefits" relationship is a kind of test - people involved in it want to "test" being together before they decide to create a full-sized love relationship.
Is the relation "friends with benefits" associated with risk?
The "friends with benefits" relation includes the risk of unrequited love. Sexual contacts, even if they are made without intention to engage in a relationship, or at least create a climate of closeness between two people, which contrary to the initial assumptions may favour the birth of a deeper feeling (about the influence of hormones, read here: https://lycknis.com/ ). It is very important that both sides clearly define their expectations.
Does age matter in this case?
Relations like "friends with benefits" are not just the domain of the young. As research conducted by Justin L. Lehmiller shows, also people aged between 40 and 60 years are willing to enter into such arrangements, although they probably don’t show it like youth. The relationship "friends with benefits" is attractive for people from different age groups.
One can wonder whether the "friends with benefits" relationship is a sign of our time. Their growth is undoubtedly fostered by the pace of modern life. On the other hand, it is hard to deny that once only moral considerations stopped people from revealing such systems. They can take different forms and be a kind of substitute for a serious relationship.
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