Lindsay claims her computer was stolen at the airport in Shanghai, China, and she’s offering a reward for its return. In a move showing an utter lack of sophistication, Lindsay isn’t specifying how much she’ll give … she’s saying, “Whatever it takes.” Translation: A lot.
Why, you ask, is she so freaked out? We’ve learned she had a bunch of nude photos of herself. She claims they’re all from various photo shoots that were never supposed to be released.

Lindsay also claims her laptop contains “private correspondences” between Lady GaGa and Woody Allen which, if true, will presumably contain such unpredictable and scandalous messages as “Missing fav coat. Have u seen it?” and, “Will you look Asian and let me adopt you? Then, no, you can’t blow me for a part in my next movie.” No one will look at her the same way again.