Every couple needs to work at their relationship, to make accommodations and adjustments in every part of their life together.

Enjoyable sex is essential to a healthy adult relationship. But how do you handle things if a man suffers from premature ejaculation (PE)? Do you let the relationship go down the tubes, or do you work things through?

Image source - Pixabay

PE affects both partners in a relationship. Both are frustrated and unhappy, even angry at times, so a joint approach is the best way to find solutions.

What Is PE? 

Premature ejaculation (PE) affects up to 30% of all men of all ages. 

"Premature ejaculation is a male sexual dysfunction characterized by ejaculation which always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of vaginal penetration; and, inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations; and, negative personal consequences, such as distress, bother, frustration, and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy."

Source: WebMD.com

Definitions vary and are not as important as how you feel. If you feel you need to last longer in bed to give your partner more pleasure there are options available to you. Sexual health is just as important as any other body system. Even leaving aside your physical health, if PE is affecting your emotional health then you have an issue you need to address. 

A man loses his erection immediately after ejaculating, so continued penile stimulation of the vagina is impossible. How do you live with that? Read on.

Can You Delay the Male Orgasm?

If you do nothing, then nothing is going to change, ever. Discuss the issue with your doctor because there can sometimes be deep-rooted causes for a lack of ejaculatory control, including high blood pressure and an enlarged prostate gland.

Your medical professional will probably suggest using a topical spray such as Promescent on your penis prior to any sexual contact. This makes the glans and nerve-rich underside of your penis less sensitive while still leaving you with some pleasurable sensations.

There are whole-body treatments such as SSRIs, but these can have unwanted side-effects including reducing the hardness of your erection. Not good.

Can You Encourage the Female Orgasm?

You are part of a team, and both of you need sexual satisfaction for a harmonious relationship.

The “average” woman requires about 13 minutes of intra-vaginal stimulation before reaching a climax. The “average” man requires only 5 minutes of post-penetration vaginal stimulation before ejaculating.

Every couple has work to do to equalize these figures.

Extended foreplay plays a vital role for many couples. The woman needs to be further along on her orgasm trip than the man before any penis in vagina sex is initiated. Digital and oral stimulation both play a large role in achieving this objective for many couples.

Sexual Alternatives

Experiment with different positions: Try to find one that gives maximum clitoral stimulation. You don’t need to swing from the lampshade; just simple woman on top variations can help.

Many men become angry with themselves and disappointed with their ability to delay their orgasm for more than a few minutes of post-penetration stimulation. The physical release gives little male satisfaction and both parties are frustrated. However, you can prolong the sexual act by continued intimate touching after ejaculation to enhance the woman’s sexual experience.

Penis in Vagina (PIV) sex is not the only option.  Many women enjoy oral stimulation of the vulva and clitoris, so use this in your foreplay; even to bring her to climax before any penis/vagina contact.

Toys and fantasies are other options that some couples find helpful.

Communication Strategies

Image source - Pixabay

Communication requires you both to open up and to be receptive. This might be easier talking in bed naked than sitting on the couch with the television on.

Listening is at least as important as talking. Both partners need to listen to the other’s needs. There aren’t any no-go areas for discussion between two people who are physically intimate.

Men don’t talk about important issues, even with their partners in many cases. Get over it.

If you love each other, understanding follows and your relationship has more chance of lasting and overcoming the obstacles life throws at you. 

The Short Version

Premature ejaculation is a fact of life for nearly one-third of couples. A man’s post penetration staying power may be several minutes, but if the woman is often left hanging then the couple has a problem.

Not discussing the issue and doing nothing about it will prolong the problem.  

Talk to a medical professional to check for possible causes of premature ejaculation. Experiment with alternative sexual positions, extend foreplay and use a penis de-sensitizing spray such as Promescent to synchronize male and female levels of excitation.