Ah, September. The month when parents breathe a sigh of relief and teachers shrug and grit their teeth. Facebook is full of bright-faced and keen-eyed youngsters in shiny new uniforms, and Instagram is full of irate Year 11s upset that they’ve got to scrape off the make-up and head into maths class.

Yes, it’s back to school time, and that can mean only one thing for shoppers all over the UK.

It’s time to stock up on batteries.

What? You thought this blog would be about pens?

In this post, we’ll look at three things that’ll make your back to school season run a little smoother – and the affordable batteries behind them.

Avoid Lateness with Buttons and Coins

Nothing winds up a teacher like someone who’s always late. Yes, your kids would rather play until the next goal determines the winner, or stay around gossiping about, like, no way, is she, like, really, with him, Oh Em Gee – but they need to get to class on time.

So make sure they’re in possession of a watch that’s keeping good time. Nobody’s going to trust a thirteen year old with a posh mechanical watch. They’d forget to keep it wound for starters, and these things cost a lot. No, instead it’s a cheap digital watch so they can’t pull out the old “I don’t know what time it is” excuse.

Watch on wrist, take a quick detour to grab a pack of Lithium coin and button batteries. A multipack contains all the different varieties of battery you need to power any watch, and it’ll make sure your kids avoid yet another lateness detention.

We hope.

Keep them Top of the Maths Class with Button Batteries

“You’d better learn how to do this in your head, because you won’t carry a calculator everywhere with you when you grow up.”

Well, Mrs. Foulkes, looks like you don’t know what you’re talking about, because it turns out I carry a smartphone everywhere and that’s got a calculator on it. Check and mate.

Sorry, we got sidetracked there. In a world of iPhones, it’s strange to still buy calculators, but with GCSE Maths featuring a calculators-allowed paper, it’s important that your child has something they can use to add up and subtract that doesn’t also let them check Wikipedia or ask their Facebook friends for help.

Along with a decent calculator, you’ll need to stock up on Lithium Coin Cell batteries. Because the thought of having to do fractal equations on a calculator that’s about to run out of battery is definitely nightmare fuel for 16 year olds all across the UK.

Secure Those Memories

Ok, that’s two battery types for the kids, but what about you? You’ve fed them, clothed them, raised them, and now they’re heading off to school for the very first – or the very last time.

Don’t you, the doting parent, deserve a memento of this historic event? Shouldn’t you be allowed to force them to pose for picture after picture after picture that you can dust off with glee the first time they bring a boyfriend or girlfriend home from University, or that you can stick in the local free paper on their 30th birthday?

Of course you do. You’ve earned it.

So whip out the digital camera, pop in two of the Eneloop rechargeable batteries you remembered to buy beforehand (along with the battery charger), and snap away to your heart’s content.

Sure, they’ll never thank you for it. Sure, the older they get, the surlier the faces will be in these pictures, but it’ll all be worth it when you see your 21 year-old turn beet red when their new “friend” gets to see what they looked like back on the first day of school.

So there you have it. Three things to consider as this new school year begins, and three types of battery that you can use to make everything run a little more smoothly.

Now if only someone would make a battery-operated bedroom tidying machine, you’d be set!