Self-confidence is extremely sexy to a woman. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that, more than a man's good looks and more than his gentlemanly manner, confidence is the trigger trait that makes a woman want to get naked.
You remember that scene in Goodfellas when Ray Liotta takes Lorraine Bracco to the Copa? He slips her
through the back door, tipping heavies the whole way, chatting up other wiseguys, and finally ending up at a table in front of the stage. Liotta had something much more important than a roll of Franklins: He had confidence. And its effect on Bracco was clear. You knew he was getting laid that night.
"Women want a man with steel balls," says R. Don Steele, without a hint of irony in his voice. Steele is the author of Body Language Secrets: A Guide during Courtship and Dating. "This desire is evolutionary. Females want someone who's not going to run from a fight, a man who is confident in his ability to provide and protect."
Simply put, confidence gets the girl. So if you want to be more attractive to women, show your bravado. But I don't mean by pounding your chest or the drunk at the end of the bar. You don't have to be a wiseguy to make yourself instantly irresistible. Here are some more-effective techniques.
WALK THIS WAY
"Women look first at your attire and second at how you walk," says Steele. Keep your wardrobe stylish and impeccable. Ashley Rothschild, a Los Angeles- based image consultant, suggests you emulate the look of a successful public man in your business arena. She also thinks you'd look hot in a leather jacket. It's classic. It's Steve McQueen. Your stride? Slow down. "Confident people are not in a hurry," says Steele. "But there's a difference between meandering and walking slowly with purpose. Always walk as if you know what you're doing and where you're going."
LOOK HER IN THE EYES
Tell her you love her dimples while gazing at her feet and you'll reek of emotional insecurity. If locking eyes with a stranger feels uncomfortable, focus on her mouth and she'll never know the difference, says Renee Piane, a motivational speaker and author of Love Mechanics: Power Tools to Build Successful Relationships. Staring elsewhere makes you appear uninterested, inattentive, or insincere--especially during sweet talk. Also, she'll respond best to realistic compliments. "You're the physical embodiment of everything I look for in a woman" will immediately set off her bullsh-t alarm. "You've got beautiful eyelashes" will make her blush.
TAKE A COMPLIMENT
When she says she likes your dimples, simply "smile and say thank you," says Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room. Insecure people deflect compliments by asking, "Really? You think so?" or by listing reasons they don't deserve the compliment. Secure people accept praise gracefully and without ado.
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