Asking people out is easy. In fact, it’s the easiest part of the entire relationship process. By definition, it has to be the first step, yet many people never make it that far, simply because of the fear of rejection.

Here’s the secret: repetition.

Not asking people out because you might be turned down is entirely self-defeating. It’s like not applying for a job because you might not get it or refusing to cross a road because you might be hit by a bus. Your mentality is backward from the start. Subsequently, this negative attitude increases the chance of failure, which will then decrease the number of times you will be prepared to try.

I’ll be honest with you – a lot of the time, you will be turned down. Understanding and accepting that this is the inevitable start of your journey towards true relationship enlightenment.

1. Ask people out. Often, and I mean, a lot. Not the same person – that’s the fast route to crazy and/or jail – but many different people. Make a habit of it. When you’re out at a club and see somebody you like, ask them out. What’s the worse thing that can happen – they can say “no,” right? So what? What difference does that really make in the grander scheme of things? So you’re a little embarrassed or hurt. You’ll get over it. You may never get over not asking. Like applying for jobs, or playing the lottery, the hit rate on relationship application success is low. If you let one rejection set you back to the point where you stop asking, you’ll never meet anyone.

2. Use your common sense. Aim high, but don’t try for the majors if your batting average stinks. Practice, practice, practice. Then work your way up to the majors. The idea that somebody is “way out of your league” is generally put into our heads by people who feel that way about themselves. How many times have you seen a great-looking woman with a so-so man, or vice versa? How did that happen? They asked. Beautiful people (certainly women) often complain that nobody asks them out because they fear being rejected. Could you hope for any more of an invite?

3. Don’t ask people out in front of a crowd. Do make sure they can hear you properly. If that person gets weird or mocks you about it, count your blessings that they said “no” and move on.

4. Keep on asking. Roll with the punches. Ask, ask, ask and then ask some more. Over time, those stings will become less significant. More importantly, the actual process of asking will no longer be any kind of hurdle.

5. Practice makes perfect. Go to a mall or the beach. See somebody you like and ask them out. Whether they say yes or no is immaterial; the point is you’re conditioning yourself to ask people out. The more this happens, the more accomplished you’ll become. This is particularly true if you’re rejected a lot. It doesn’t matter. Keep your spirits up, stay positive, see the humor in it all and keep asking.

I’m not telling you to become a stalker. I’m telling you to become a pro. Do anything enough, and it becomes second nature. It becomes natural and ceases to be awkward or difficult. You’ll get good at it. This, of course, breeds confidence, which will make you better at it.

Condition yourself to reject rejection, and never look back. Easier said than done, you say? Not so – I’ve been there.