While virginity may seem a bit outdated and old-fashioned, a number of women in their 20s and 30s are exactly that -- virginal. If you’re dating a "future sex kitten" and she’s decided you’re the one, you’ll want to keep several things in mind as you rock her world. Unlike sexually experienced women, if she's a virgin, she doesn’t really know what to expect, apart from what her girlfriends have told her -- which means she’s either going to be anticipating lots of pain or lots of ecstasy, depending who she’s talked to.
Regardless, she’s definitely going to be nervous, and that’s where you come in. The following tips will help to ensure that if she's a virgin, her first time will be anything but awkward.
Avoid ultimatums No one likes being under the gun. It’s absolutely OK to let her know you’re ready to take things to the next level, but you don’t want her thinking that’s all you’re after. Women who are still virgins at 25 and 30 are unlikely to cave to the pressure, anyway -- they’re obviously pretty skilled at saying no! If she's a virgin and hasn’t given the goods up yet, that’s an indication she’s waiting for someone special. Laying the pressure on will make her feel cornered, trapped and objectified -- not exactly the hallmark of Prince Charming!
Take control You’re the experienced one here, and she’s going to need your firm, but gentle, guidance. In fact, she’s going to expect it, so don’t be afraid to lead with confidence; women love men who take charge in the bedroom. Let her determine the pace, but never lose sight of who’s teaching whom. She may be screaming with delight, begging you to shag her silly -- but that doesn’t mean she’s ready.
You’re the expert; it’s your job to gauge her level of arousal. You want her incredibly horny (and as wet as you can get her) before you go the whole nine yards. She’s going to remember this for the rest of her life. You want her reflecting on this moment with a saucy grin, not crossing her legs in pain at the memory.
Relax her It’s natural for her to feel a bit jittery, but you can ease much of that anxiety with a few simple tricks. She’s likely to be feeling self-conscious, so start with a few confidence boosters. Tell her she’s sexy and let her know she looks fantastic in your bed. Even if she already knows this, hearing you say it will do wonders.
Spend extra time kissing, letting her know you're focused is on her, and not just her body. Talk to her as you touch her body, find out what she likes and what she doesn’t. It may sound one-sided, but this should be all about her and what she’s offering you -- as opposed to what you’re taking. Let her know this, and she’ll relax completely.
Turn her on No doubt it sounds like an obvious tip, but this one is more overlooked than you might realize. You want her so hot she’s purring with lust and begging for it -- and you want to keep her that way until the moment of truth. Unfortunately, many men break the mojo just before penetration. It’s not intentional, they just get a bit tense knowing they’re about to cause their partner a minor amount of pain. Relax, she knows what's coming and she’s not going to hold it against you. Go slowly, but don’t forget to kiss and caress her as you do. This gives her something else to focus on and keeps her aroused, which will actually decrease her sensitivity to pain. Be willing to slow down and stop She may be ready and willing at the start of the evening, but be prepared for that to change before the deed is done. Rest assured, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you, it just means she’s not ready. Some women are more sexually liberated than others -- her virginity might be something she can’t cope with losing right now. On the other hand, she might just need a little reassurance. She may need evidence that you really care about her and are willing to wait. A willingness to stop and take a step back is often all the proof a woman needs. It may even be enough for her to decide to keep going. Either way, a little compassion in this area will earn you major points.
innocence unleashed Just because she’s a virgin doesn’t mean she’s a cold fish; she’s probably just waiting for the right man to come along and show her how it’s done. A little compassion in this arena could land you a very loyal woman who’s eager to please. Don’t shy away from the "good girl" -- step up to the plate and show her what she’s been missing out on.