She says she likes having sex just two or three times a month because then it feels "extra special." How do I convince her to be interested more often?
Pressuring a woman to have sex is guaranteed to backfire. A smarter way to encourage action is to engage in other physical activities. Foot rubs, shoulder massages, shared showers, partner-stretching -- these will make her blood pump, create intimacy, and possibly put her in the mood. But it's crucial that you don't make the first frisky move and that you don't act disappointed if one thing doesn't lead to another. If she suddenly craves sex, act pleasantly surprised.
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