If men weren't great explorers, we never would have found America,
the Rockies, or scrambled porn on channel 99. So why should our entire
sex life always take place in the same spot? Here's our list of the
best places to fool around.
1. On the Washer
Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other
appliance in your home. When your butt's on the lid, the motion is
transmitted through your pelvis, essentially turning your member into a
2. In the Vault
To really add some spice to your sex life, make a quick stop at
your bank. A safe-deposit-box room is quiet, the door is locked, and
there's no camera. It's a great place to make a deposit and withdraw.
3. At Victoria's Secret
The best dressing rooms for sex are at Victoria's Secret. Sometimes
they have love seats in there. Ask the saleswoman if you can go in to
make sure you like what your girlfriend is trying on.
4. In a Beanbag Chair
You can contour it to any shape, and it'll support you in ways
you're not accustomed to. Doggy-style sex works great when she's on her
belly, draped over the amorphous blob (the chair, not you).
5. During Christmas at the In-Laws'
Bring the kids' gifts—wrapped, but in a bag. Say you haven't wrapped them yet and duck into a spare room.
6. A '57 Chevy
That's our nostalgic choice. For more practical men, it's the Ford
Excursion, which measures a romp-friendly 227 inches long. As one
salesman put it, "It'll hold 36 sheets of half-inch plywood between the
wheel wells." Which is one way of thinking of it.
7. A Large Swiss Ball
The ball can actually help improve your depth of penetration, if
you're in the right position. Sit on the ball and have her straddle
you, facing away from you. Hold her hips for balance, and use the
rocking motion of the ball to thrust in and out of her from behind. Do
one set of at least 50 repetitions.
8. A National Park
If the missus likes to vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska's Denali
National Park, where 6 million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning
permit system leave little risk of waking the neighbors. She'll gasp in
delight when the midnight sun bathes the Big One (that's Mt. McKinley,
buddy) in salmon pink light.
9. The Elevator
Try a freight elevator. It won't have an alarm, and you can stop it
between floors for more privacy. Try this when you and your partner are
helping a buddy move into a new apartment. Pack the front and sides of
the elevator with boxes; leave the middle clear.
10. The Garage
At a friend's party, offer to fetch some more beer, then slip out
the garage door. Nobody will think anything of you being away for 20
minutes, and you can always hide behind the car if you hear someone
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