You’ve just done your approach perfectly. The girl is beautiful and all her attention is on you as she waits expectantly for you to say something to her. You open your mouth, suave and smooth like James Bond when you suddenly realize – you have no idea what to talk about with girls. Sound like a familiar situation? It’s a question that many men ask themselves – how can they maintain a conversation with a beautiful stranger, one that will keep women engaged and emotionally invested as they get to know each other.

One thing to understand is that it is not so important what you say but rather how you say it.The delivery is far more important than the content. Consider saying “Hi, my name is John” very shyly, with your body all closed in, and saying the same thing except with your chest thrust out in a powerful voice. How you deliver what you have to say makes a very big difference.

The way to deliver something confidently and with strength is to talk about something that you are passionate about and want to talk about, and in fact this is what your aim should be in any interaction; to talk about what you want to talk about. When girls hear the conviction and excitement in your voice and realize you’re talking about something you love, they are being given an invitation into your world, not a world where you are trying to impress them or seduce them but a world where you are completely genuine, something that women find very attractive.

There are certain topics that will hook a woman’s attention far more effectively than others. One theme that usually piques a woman’s curiosity are emotionally charged topics such as relationships, drama, and general social dynamics. These topics will hook a woman’s attention and in fact, a lot of classic pickup lines are built around an opener that involves these topics, but for them to work effectively, you must be invested in these topics yourself. It’s no use asking about your best friend’s cheating girlfriend if you really don’t care about their answer – take their response and simply continue the conversation off that. The branching possibilities are limitless and you can choose to lead the conversation in any specific way that you desire.

Another thing that will improve your interactions is humour. This is not to say that you should be spouting joke after joke in an attempt to make her laugh – on the contrary, this is simply seeking a reaction from a woman and is more likely to make you seem like a try-hard. Instead, seek to amuse yourself. Anything can be funny if you look at it in the right way, and if you can find fun and enjoyment in everything around you, women will love you. This is not to say that you must never tell a joke though – if you think a joke is funny and want to share it with the woman, by all means go ahead. You’re sharing your sense of humour and what you find funny with her and women will love you for that.

People often wonder if deep, personal topics have a place in conversation with women. Yes, they do, but only at the right time. If your try and get very deep and personal in the first few minutes of meeting someone new, people will get slightly creeped out. If, on the other hand, you wait until you’re both enjoying each other’s company and want to get to know each other better then such emotionally heavy topics can build a strong rapport between the two of you. Gentlemen, don’t talk about euthanasia and politics, no matter how passionate you are about those topics – those things are only going to give you arguments and bad feelings. Talk about feelings and emotions that you have, life experiences and personal stories. These are the type of things that will build a strong sense of trust and comfort in women.

Women don’t want you to try and invade their world with interrogation-like questions.They want to experience your reality, be a part of your party. Your conversation should be a gateway into your world and you should talk to women about topics that interest you and help you build that strong connection with her. What you talk about with a girl should ultimately be an expression of you, because this is the person you want the girl to get to know.