The biggest fights in a manwoman relationship have been replayed more times than Rakhi Sawant has opened her mouth on primetime television. It usually happens something like this: First, after three or four hours of silent abuse by the lady, her man starts to suspect something's up. "I know you're annoyed," he says. "What did I do?"
"You didn't do anything," she says. "It's fine, whatever. I'm not annoyed."
"Just tell me."
This goes on for hours until she finally blurts it out: "You didn't introduce me when we ran into that guy you work with! And why do you need to go out to brunch with your ex?" Then she feels silly for letting such small things bother her, and they laugh and roll around on the bed and all is right again in their world.
But he raises a good point: most of the time he has no idea of what sets her off. Which is why we've prepared this handy inventory of things men tend to do that women tend to find annoying. If you study up, you'll be able to stop repelling the women you want to meet-or aggravating the one you have. And women can continue not telling you why they're mad, because they'll figure, "Hey, he should know already!" Besides, who said this would be fair?
1 You don't pick up after yourself at our place. Actually, women really don't mind if you're a little messy. An empty beer bottle here or dirty T-shirt there-no problem. But when she starts seeing pieces of you (literally) all over the place, she tends to go off. Like when she finds your pubes all over her bar of Dove, or toenail clippings on the nightstand. Please clean that up before she sees it and wants to gag. And she can promise to be better about leaving globs of her hair in your shower drain. Have a deal?
2 You ask how much our new haircut or handbag costs... yet conveniently don't mention your guy party account. Until she is sharing a bank account with you, she's not all that interested in your opinions on how she should or should not spend your money. And if you are sharing a bank account, here's something you should know: reminding her when she's in the throes of post-retail bliss that she just blew all your disposable income for the month is not going to endear you to her. The perfect response: "Wow, (sexy/hot) new (haircut/handbag/lingerie item). I guess dinner is on me tonight!" Then wait a few days to bring up your financial concerns- propose that both of you start saving for something you want to buy together.
3 You talk to us as if we're one of the guys. If you have any romantic inclinations towards her, please don't call her by her last name. Otherwise she'll assume she has already been relegated to buddy status and start thinking of you that way, too. Also, you'll rarely find her holding entire conversations in some code language. Similarly, women don't talk in numbers the same way men tend to. They're happy to see evidence of your improvements at the gym, but they really don't need to know how much you can bench-press. Fantasy-league anything will make them flirt hard with the waiter. No, the conversation doesn't have to be all about them, but they do want you to shoot for topics of mutual interest.
4 You speak of the future vaguely. Men seem to have perfected a special way of talking about the future that makes it unclear whether women are a part of it or not. Or maybe you don't know you're doing this? For instance, you frequently mention your friend's wedding six months from now and haven't asked her to go with you (or if she wants to). If you picture her in your future, try talking about these things in a way that she'll stick around for it.
5 You stop trying. You have her as your wife or girlfriend. She's committed to the situation, and all is good. But pretty soon you stop trying to impress her-and women don't like that. "Now that we're married, he never tries to 'win me' any more," says 29-year-old Preeti. "If he wants to come on to me, he needs to ditch his gross dress socks and gym clothes and make an effort. Otherwise he ain't getting any. Also, there is less foreplay and it's more routine, which I hate. After seven years, a man's got to bust some new moves." Or at least bring back a few of the retired ones that used to work. Like simply bringing home a pizza, a bottle of wine and some flowers when she has had a bad day. Bring back the woo. Women want the woo!
6 You blatantly look at porn. Women don't care that you masturbate and women can't change the fact that you might occasionally browse the fine and varied selection of naked ladies on the Internet. But if you're looking at porn on a computer she also uses, kindly delete your history. Women don't want amazonbabes.com to pop up every time they want to look up something on the Net.
7 You turn down sex. When it so happens that she's the one who wants sex and you're the one who doesn't, she finds your refusal to be confusing and irritating. Reassure her that she's attractive and that you love her, but that you just aren't in the mood. It helps to throw out a hint at what's going on-that you're tired, depressed, anxious at work, whatever. That way she won't obsess or be too pouty or aggressive. If she happens to be fresh off a girls' night out liquored up and ready for sex, which you're refusing, tread extra carefully. Horny can change to emotional, crying wreckage very quickly when your girl has a couple of glasses of whiskey in her.
8 You ask us out via text. Texting is fast and easy and leads to sexy banter-but save it until after the first date. Calling a woman to ask her out is much more personal. It takes more effort (and balls), which is exactly what women find so sexy. Okay, it's an unfair burden, but it comes with an advantage: it makes you stand out from the mass of other men who text. People are so conditioned to communicate through SMS that to receive a phone call or even an e-mail feels like a generously romantic gesture. Also don't include her in any mass texts you bang off to half the female names in your phonebook at 10 pm, expecting one of them to meet you for the night. Women know when your 'plans 2nite?' texts are generic, and when they're intended to specifically address them.
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