You spot her across the bar, all long legs and billowing hair. You walk up to her table and slyly ask her to join you in a drink. You're reeking of confidence. You're looking your best. And you're... instantly rejected.

What the hell happened?

You didn't read her body language before swaggering over. Follow the signals stated below and you'll go from rejected to respected in no time flat.

Signal 1: The Open Circle
Take a look around the bar on any Saturday night and what do you see? Groups of women circling tables and sharing cocktails, right? Now, if you look a little closer you'll notice that most of these groups of women are arranged in either open or closed circles. The open circle is more of a horseshoe shape than a circle, and is a very good sign. When we leave one open position at the table, we're literally beckoning you over. So what are you waiting for? Grab an extra dirty martini and your best smile, and come charm the hell out of us.

What you do not, I repeat do not, want to do is approach a closed circle. You know the type. We're hunched in toward the center of the table and speaking with each other animatedly. When you catch a glimpse of this situation, the best thing you can do is steer clear for the night.

Signal 2: The Wandering Eye
As women, we have an innate ability to multitask at all times and this talent is heightened when we are in a bar. As we chat up our friends about our new lipstick shade or eyebrow wax, we are really keeping a careful watch on the door. Why? Because we know something (or someone) who comes in will most certainly be more interesting than our current conversation. When you catch a woman constantly keeping her eye on the front door, walk up, introduce yourself and take her out of her multitasking misery.

Signal 3: The Catwalk
I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret here. We do not head to the bathroom every five minutes just for the sake of peeing. If we're wearing a hole in the carpet from walking the same path in front of you every few minutes, pay attention! That's usually a good indicator that we're waiting for you to ask us over for a drink.

Side note here: There is one other reason we may be passing you several times on our way to the bathroom. If we look green, unbalanced or have a friend holding us up, stay away. Stay far, far away.

Signal 4: The Stare
The most obvious of all signals is when we continually catch your eye. Most women are not afraid to make serious eye contact when they finally set their sights on the man they want. Are we glancing in your direction? Smiling? Looking away coyly? If any of these signals are happening, grab your bat, you've just been called to "The Show."

I should mention that you first want to check and make sure that the guy standing beside you isn't smiling back. Many males have crawled back to their seats in shame after mistaking "eyes" meant for the man behind them.

Signal 5: The Hairdo Flirt
Call it a God-given talent instilled since birth, but every woman I know has a beautiful head of hair and knows just how to use it. Whether we're twirling strands between our fingers, throwing it back behind our shoulder or simply smoothing it down with an elegant pat, the message is clear. We want you to be the one twirling, throwing and patting our locks, preferably in the most intimate of ways.

Signal 6: The Group Stare
Women are talkers. We love juicy gossip. Most of us can't hold a secret to save our lives and if something is going on in our heads, we are likely to blurt it out to our girlfriends at a moment's notice. Most likely if you have caught the attention of one woman, she will tell her friends to look your way. Her friends will inevitably turn to stare at precisely the same moment she asks them not to stare all at once, because it "would be too obvious."

If you notice a whole group of her girlfriends setting their sights on you, you have just been singled out as the night's next dish. Eat up, my friend.

Signal 7: The Outbursts
Yes, we're jovial. Yes, we're hilarious. And yes, we even crack ourselves up. But there is nothing like a little testosterone to kick our hilarity up to a whole new level. The fact of the matter is, when a good-looking guy is present, our bodies just naturally boost our energy levels up a notch. An otherwise small laugh suddenly becomes a belly laugh that makes us throw our heads back and jingle our earrings. Our very sexy earrings, I might add.

As a group we become louder, saucier. We're smiling more, increasing our joke telling and yes, perhaps even getting a little loopy in the process. Reason being, we don't just want to look pretty. We want to look fun. Correction, we want to be fun.

So next time you notice the women beside you acting out more than usual, chances are good you have stoked their interest and the night's antics are just getting started. Sit back, enjoy yourself and when the moment's right, break in with a joke of your own.