Coming too soon is a common problem for men but in many cases it doesn't, ahem, last long. Here are some coping strategies - however it's affecting you.
What is premature ejaculation? You're lucky if you've never been there. To put short, it is what happens during sex when you reach your climax too quickly unintentionally. Some experts interpret premature as meaning ejaculation within two minutes of penetration (though according to Menknowpause spies, the ladies still think that five-minute-and-go, too, is too quick!).
What causes premature ejaculation? What we've been told by the long-running day-time soap opera (Bold and Beautiful casts, are you guys reading this?) is that when a man think the woman he sleeps with is way too hot for him, premature ejaculation is bound to happen. Which can be true at times, but that's not always the case.
Anxiety, stress and abstinence from sex can all play a part. It is not uncommon for men to suffer from 'performance anxiety', especially at the start of a relationship when the desire to please is often at its greatest.
But here's what important: learning to recognise and control the sensations in the penis will slow things down. It is crucial for you to be able to communicate with your partner about what is worrying -- even when you think it's embarrassing. Once you've got your concerns out in the open, you can both set about putting them right. And it all boils down to one thing: practice.
How to Avoid PE Now let's go down to the serious business! Here's what you can do to avoid premature ejaculation:
1) Prolonged foreplay: Foreplay with a ban on sex can help reduce anxiety and ultimately delay orgasm.
2) Distraction: Mild cases of PE can often be solved by learning the art of distraction. This involves turning your mind to something else when you feel you are getting close to climax.
3)The stop-start technique: An exercise practised during manual stimulation or sex, which basically involves slowing down or holding off just before ejaculation. This allows the level of arousal to subside, giving more pre-climax control.
4)The Masters-Johnson method: A 'penis-grip' technique developed by therapists of the same names. By learning a special finger grip that stops the urge to climax, it's often possible to re-train a man to last much longer. It's possible to master the technique with a willing partner but it's best if you both learn it properly with a trained doctor, psychotherapist or counsellor.
5) Sex after ejaculation: Having ejaculated once, either by masturbation or during sex, men generally take longer to achieve arousal and climax again.
6) Thicker condoms: Can reduce the intensity of arousal leading up to climax.
7) Psychosexual counselling: If PE continues to be a problem, talking things through with a counsellor could help. Don't be shy. We've all seen the shrink!
8) Lessen your expectations: Many men buy into the sex myth that they should be in control. This can lead to a great deal of anxiety, which is linked to premature ejaculation. Recognising that both partners play an equal part will take the focus off the need to 'perform' and help you to relax.
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