Ed, my buddy, got divorced because of golf, baked potatoes, and blackflies. See, Ed liked to play golf, which was no big deal—until he and his wife, Amy, started having money problems and she'd remind him that he'd blown $500 a month "whacking a little ball around."

Ed also was a slow eater, while Amy tended to gobble her dinner down rather quickly.

By the time he'd buttered his baked potato, his wife had finished her meal. Which was no big deal—except that it reminded them daily of how different they really were.

Finally, Ed's job was transferred to Bangor, Maine, which was no big deal—except that Amy was a Texan who "couldn't deal with blackflies," she said, and, unlike Ed, came from a big, very close family that she missed just a little too much.

These tiny hitches mutated into one festering, ugly, insurmountable problem, but that's not the really sad part about Ed's story. Instead it's what he asked me 10 minutes before he took his marriage vows: "Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

The time to ask questions is before you go diamond hunting. We asked scores of marriage therapists and both married and divorced men to suggest key questions you should ask her (and yourself) to gauge compatibility and to reveal potential hot spots in your relationship.

Check out the questions linked on the left side of this page. Getting four or more answers that don't jibe with yours should give you pause. It's how you resolve your differences that will guarantee a long and happy marriage.