Admit it, if you had the chance to get laid anywhere and anytime, you'd drop-trou faster than an IBS patient who ate at a curry buffet. Any CSI buff will not hesitate to tell you that the amount of wayward precious bodily fluids usually finds its way through the most unexpected places.
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But guess what? Not all sex hideaways are created equal, and some supposedly hot spots are actually pretty inconvenient and illogical. So here are five places you might want to think twice about before doing the deed:
1.Inside A Car
People have sex in cars mainly because: They can't do it in their parents house; They're cheating on someone; They're with a hooker; They're homeless. None of these things are the least bit appealing, or something to which one should aspire. Besides, it's not like it's even comfortable despite its trashiness: the avergae car offers little room to maneuver, it gets unbelievably humid, and no matter what, somebody is going to pass your car and you're going to end up looking like a complete jackass.
2. Airplane Bathroom
Joining 'The Mile High' club might seem like a great accomplishment, but really, it's the same as the car, except that you have even less room and the stakes are even higher. Sure that sounds pretty badass, but can you imagine yelling all the terrible things you want to yell without risk of getting air marshalled? By the way, those toilets barely even flush, which means you're not only having sex with your lady, but you're also banging every bit of piss and shit every other passenger let out.
How deprived must you be to want to bang someone in a classroom; one of the safest, innocent places left for today's young minds? Who would you bang there in the first place? The only adult you're gonna find there is a teacher. Do you really want to get naked and bump uglies on little desk little Billy sits at in day time? You freak.
4. The Kitchen
What could be appealing about being surrounded by cutlery and plates? And could you even swallow the idea of some asshole rubbing up against your counters, and the fact that you'll also be eating the remnants of someone's sweaty asswipe?
5. Parents Bedroom
There's undoubtedly some kind of rebel factor in play here; fundamentally violating a girl in the place where the greatest protectors of and believers in her innocence rest their heads. Sure it seems pretty badass, until you really start thinking about it: How her dad probably sleeps in his underwear, his old ballsack and pubes rubbing up right where you might rest your face. Or the fact that her mom probably leaked twenty plus years of period flow on the mattress (that stain is definitely not from wine!). The most obvious reason: The fact that they probably conceived their daughter at the very same place you're banging her today. Totally blows your mind (and modjo) doesn't it?
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