Let me just tell you this: You don't hate them enough. Some excerpts from the latest Playboy magazine featuring Heidi and Spencer will make you want to punch this Spencer Pratt, I promise:




Talented Heidi
Spencer: You’re a rock star, Heidi. Don’t forget that. We made our music video [for the song “BlackOut”] on the beach for about a dollar this year, and it went to number six on iTunes in the U.S. and number one in Canada. [fist bumps] That’s money in your pocket! Dollar for dollar, I bet you made more than Lady GaGa this year even though she has a number one record. “Oh, Heidi Montag has no talent!”—my fucking ass! If you have no talent, then I don’t know what talent is. You must be the most talented untalented person on earth. [leans in for a kiss] Take a bite! [They kiss. Spencer pauses to check several cell phones and PDAs. They kiss again as he texts.]

Pimping Husband
Spencer: Heidi, look at you. You’re in Playboy. Let’s make this the most famous interview ever.
Heidi: You know it, baby. [multiple fist bumps]

Sex Bunny
Heidi: Some things are private. Our sex life is private.
Spencer: I totally 100 percent disagree. Privacy doesn’t exist, which is why I love my life. I love that we live every waking moment for everyone to see.
Before you, sex was just something that happened. Now it’s something I look forward to every minute of the day.
Spencer: I never imagined in my whole life I would meet a female as sexual as you are. [fist bump] Most girls are usually just about themselves.
Heidi: Like I said, it makes me happy to see you happy. Like when we do it in the car.
Spencer: Or on the plane on New Year’s Eve. How about that, when I initiated you into the Mile High Club? Holy shit!
Heidi: That was maybe the best experience I’ve ever had in my entire life. First flying to New York on a private jet and then getting to fulfill the fantasy of all fantasies. The hardest part was, like, keeping quiet so the pilots wouldn’t come back. Honestly, I feel as if I’m just beginning to know my body with you. You’re waking me up to what’s possible, and it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways— indoors, outdoors, upside down. I feel sorry for couples who aren’t as sexually satisfied as we are. If your sex life isn’t happy, your marriage is screwed.

Yuck.


Source: Playboy