This is a kind of story people want to hear, but when it gets to it - they do not actually know how to react; it is no wonder they feel confused. I felt as well. Without redundant intriguing, I would probably say that sometimes you just got to let someone go for their own sake.
By the time this happened, my husband, Tim, and I had been happy together for eight years already. Our son was six years old and he made us even happier. Tim, among many of our friends, is a great father and always supported me. It wasn’t only about our splendid family life, but also about the job. Together, we were producing a band that got merely successful lately. He was a songwriter, I did the promotion, and guys in the band were rapidly getting better. Sounds like a cloudless scenario, isn’t it? To be honest, there was a problematic sphere. But as many people in the world, I preferred to live in a blissful unawareness.
Eventually, our sex life got worse. Well, no, Tim still was passionate and acts themselves were nice as always. Although, sex became a rear occasion and, at first, I did not feel any anxiety: both of us often were ghastly tired and were short on time to even sleep. But as time passed, it turned out to be a deplorable tradition; once or twice a month wasn’t enough and I started thinking Tim an affair (which is not a rarity in show business). Being a good wife and a friend, I decided to offer a dialogue before stalking and arguing. When I asked for reasons of such a formidable change, Tim wore his sweetest face and replied:
“Honey, we are just tired. We both know perfectly that everything is going to be OK soon.”
You know, this “we” word drastically affected me and I forgot about everything. Everyone knows that such periods happen in marriage, and if your love is strong enough, you can overcome it without scathe.
Since that talk, Tim got more isolated and mute. I diligently justified his behavior with things he mentioned – we did love each other and got used to mutual understanding. Further, we spent few months without sex at all. I certainly believed everything Tim said, but my basic needs were unsatisfied and the gloomy feeling of deception wouldn’t let me live evenly.
One day we spent many hours in the studio trying to master the song. The band has left some time ago. Our cooperative work was like a harmonious dance: we knew exactly what to do and even speechlessly understood each other. I started wondering again – what could go wrong? The home we lived in was cozy and warm, the time we spent together was so nice I may not even imagine something to be better. After a prolonged torpor, I realized things cannot go on like this. I asked:
“Tim? Why is everything falling apart?”
He looked at me with a captivating smile. But behind this grimace, I saw something bigger and frustrating.
“Stop ignoring me, please, I beg you! Tell me what is wrong with us!”
My voice started cracking and eyes gone wet. Tim tried to cease my hysteria with some trivial phrases, but I could not stop, it escalated like a volcano. I knew no one could hear us in the studio, so I gave up the struggle to stay calm and cried bitterly. Tim cuddled me, wiping off my tears. After a short pause he murmured:
“I’m not sure if you want to learn the truth.”
“And I’m not sure if I can keep on leaving without knowing it!” – I answered sincerely.
“Well, if it so…” – he waited a bit, trying to fight the uncertainty – “I think I’m gay.”
I gazed at him. It is not like I was shocked or surprised, though, I could not believe my ears. Considering my concerned look, Tim started telling the whole story. Turns out, he understood this fact over a year ago but was trying to vanquish it all this time. It took him months to forgive himself for being so. He could not imagine how he would live his life; furthermore, this image was more of a nightmare.
Finally, I knew the truth. And you know what I felt instead of pain and disappointment? I found relief. Either way, Tim and I will always love each other. And he continues being the best father in the world. I also figured out that it was not my fault that Tim realized his homosexuality – in the end, I always suggested this phenomenon to be based on genetic level. Later, I helped my ex-husband and best friend to get in touch with his own life.
I don’t know if I did the right thing, but nevertheless, in place of remorse and life in lies, I have a happy new person.
Thanks to Brides Stars Dating Site for helping me with this story.
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