I'm going to be really straight with you guys. If you want to succeed with women you’ve got to slow down, get focused, and develop an attention span that can handle more than a thirty second sound bite. The key is patience.

Every week I’m written to by men who say they’re eager for my help, but most aren’t. No, what they want is a magic bullet. What they want is a solution to their romance and sex problems that’s as easy as turning on the T.V. They don’t want to think, they don’t want to plan, and they don’t want to change their behavior – they want instant gratification. Instant gratification, however, happens with electrical appliances, not people.

You have two choices. You can be impatient and lonely – or learn patience, take the time to learn great strategies, and start attracting women. You can stay with impatience and be so desperate you repel every woman you’re attracted to – or get focused, work your plan, and create results. You choose.

Meanwhile time is wasting. Every day you spend frittering away your free hours gossiping with friends about the girl in class you long for but are afraid to talk to, every day you spend hours playing video games instead of signing up for an online dating service, every moment you spend mourning over a relationship that ended over a year ago instead of being open to a new woman right here, right now, is a waste.

Furthermore every time a girl says “no thanks” and you get angry, every time a date doesn’t go the way you hoped and you let it ruin your week (or month, or semester), every time a woman you’re attracted to doesn’t seem to notice you, and you get angry, you move a step backward on the love/sex/romance game.

Being a man who attracts women takes skills, and skills that can be learned. Every man out there, no matter his age, his education level, or income, can learn great strategies for attracting the women he finds attractive – and then put them into play and succeed. The skills, however, don’t learn themselves. They need to be studied, memorized, and then put into play. The results then need to be studied, analyzed and modified depending on what’s working and what doesn’t.

If you were a pitcher who wasn’t throwing strikes you’d examine your technique and figure out what the problem was. It’s the same thing with woman. You need to patience to first learn skills, patience to polish them, and even more patience to study the feedback and find out where things need to be fine tuned to win.

Let Go of the Excuses

It’s easy as pie to come up with a list of reasons why you just can’t move forward and become more successful with women. It’s so easy to point out how it’s easy for other men because they’re more popular, better looking, more confident, make more money and on and on and on. And you know what? Some of it is true. Yes, there are men who are more confident, more popular, better looking and make more money. So what? Does that mean you have to be a bachelor the rest of your life? Only if you’re going to let yourself drowned in excuses rather than pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. You too can learn to be more confident, more popular, better looking and make more money.

Here are some more excuses that I hear all the time and my responses to them:

*I’m crazy in love with one girl and she’s the only one I want…

If she returns the same feelings, great, if not then you need to let her go. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who feels the same way about you. Pining away for someone is only going to make them want to avoid you. You have a much better chance of making something happen with someone if you let go, step back, regroup, pull yourself together and move on into new areas…then you may just intrigue this girl into giving you a second look. If not, there’s a whole ocean of possibilities out there you haven’t even seen yet.

*My bad experience with one woman has destroyed my faith in myself…

You are the one who allowed your faith in yourself to be destroyed; she didn’t destroy it for you. Stop giving power to other people. You have the power to change the way you feel about yourself regardless of what other people say and do.

*I live in a small town and there just aren’t any women I find interesting…

Okay, maybe you do live in a small town, that’s why internet dating is great. Not only can you practice your flirting skills with women all over the country, you can find women you like that probably live close enough for you to date.

If your town is so boring then consider moving.

*I can’t stand the waiting on dating sites, waiting for someone to write to you, waiting for a response…

This goes back to a lack of patience. Why can’t you wait? Is the world ending tomorrow? The great thing about internet dating is that you can meet a large number of women. Don’t put your eggs in one basket, and don’t get tied up in instant gratification. Dating is dealing with people, and people require patience.

In closing up here I want to remind you that you always have the power to take steps towards improving your situation. You can always do something. Even the smallest steps will eventually change your situation. Great changes aren’t going to happen over night. Deep changes, important changes, are going to happen gradually. Read our site, find good strategies, put them into play, start smiling and saying hello to women, get up the courage to talk to women you find attractive, and pretty soon you’ll not only have the nerve to ask women out on dates – they’ll be saying yes.

Source: MBalmer