A healthy marriage involves a little lying, says Newsweek's Raina Kelly, who is "sick of moral absolutism.
[N]ow there's this new spate of advice talking about how lying is bad
for a relationship. That is my line in the sand. Marriages cannot exist
without dishonesty. [...] I am not suggesting that all lying is good.
Adultery, "sexting" with your college boyfriend, saying you're in a
meeting when you're at the racetrack, or telling your spouse that your
parents are dead when they live in Boca are not acceptable lies. I'm
talking about fibs. Things like "You look like you lost more weight" or
"You're right-that person from work is a dummy" or "I love spending
time with your friends."
Kelly actually makes a point here, and it's pretty safe to say many of us do this in relationships, and so do our significant others. But this can sometimes go out of hand should one partner get sensitive over the fact you lied (for example, over how that shirt looks on you). Kelly writes, "spouses are always trying to trick you into admitting they think you secretly believe."
If you can get away with a white lie, it may make your relationship easier, lighter. But if it doesn't play out well, somebody may get hurt. Then again, if you didn't tell the lie in the first place, that person would get hurt either ways, which really, makes this whole issue pretty confusing.
Thus, Kelly closes her piece with the claim that "you do need lies to take place of the hormonal rush you got when you first met. THat hormonal rush may get you into a relationship, but it's the little lies that keep you there."
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