Though Men's Health lists are so typical, this particular one was written by a woman. Surprisingly, the tips are as stereotypical as any man would give. Here are a few of the romantic "moves" to sweep a girl off her feet:

6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.

Because she needs to be protected from the skanky things who will kill your relationship with the lack of pants! But wait, wouldn't your girlfriend know that you've just spotted another hot chick, with you reinforcing how turned on your are as you grasp her hand in excitement? Just a thought.

16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.

Creepy much?

28. Give her jewelry.

Buy her. She'll be yours in no time, because she's so easy.

26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.

Ah, crush her with the hug of judgement. That will teach her to be jealous.

32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.

Interrupt her annoying nagging, and shut her up by saying you love her. Doing this will make her swoon!

5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family

That'll show everyone that you own her now.

7. Call her when you're feeling sad.

Is an hour of a crying boyfriend also known as romance? We didn't think so.

The female equivalent of this patronizing nonsense? Cosmopolitan.

[via Jezebel]