Major Deal Breakers That You Should Never Ignore While Dating
Apr 09, 2014 19:20
Dating is tricky, especially during the early stages when you're still getting to know this new person. While it's easy to be blindsided by all the romance, there are some major signs that you should never ignore.
To give you a heads up, here's a list of major dealbreakers to watch out for when dating someone new.
Rudeness can be considered a major sign to the kind of person you're dealing with, especially if they seem to be doing it intentionally. Decide early if you are willing to tolerate it, but don't stick around before it starts being directed at you. Rule of thumb: NEVER tolerate rudeness, no matter who it's being directed to.
Being late occasionally is one thing, but having it happen too frequently just shows that the other person
does not respect you or your time. So why are wasting all your time on them?
Unless if you're dating a doctor on call, constantly checking the phone for emails, twittering, or taking calls is just plain rude! How can they connect with you if they can't disconnect from the internet. Plus, do you really want to be the third party in this smartphone love triangle?
It's normal at some point for both of you to start bringing up your past relationship history, and it's a good sign that you've both become comfortable sharing it with each other. But be wary if it happens ALL OF THE TIME or if the other party always comes off as the bad guy. It could be a sign that they aren't totally over the other person, and an indicator of their maturity too.
Constantly Putting Themselves Down
The initial stages of dating is supposed to be exciting and fun, not a counseling session. Everyone has strong points and weaknesses, but talking about the latter can be a major put off. So unless you're okay with having to play "cheerleader" for the rest of your life, perhaps it's best to find someone with a little more self-confidence.
Constantly Putting YOU Down
There's a difference between teasing and insulting. Look out for remarks like "It's a good thing you're pretty!" or "You're very lucky to be with me!"; or backhanded comments about your weight, or asking you to change into something "more appropriate." If you feel like the other person is putting you down, speak up and see how they react. If they continue to do so, it's time to show them the exit door.
Does the other person insist on controlling EVERYTHING; from where you go, what you do, or even who you hang out with? You might have a manipulator on your hands. Your choices from there is to either speak up or get out, fast!
No Respect For Boundaries
Showing up places unannounced, assuming you will drop plans for them, or constantly bugging your friends to check up on you might seem like something out of a rom-com movie. In reality, these gestures are actually quite selfish. Who knows if these small trespasses will lead to bigger breaks of trust like pressuring you to do something you are not comfortable with or showing up at your apartment without your consent. Either confront them about it or break it off before it gets out of hand.
Chemistry is like a a drug that keeps you wanting to see the other person. While it can be a very strong indicator of relationship success, other things like sharing similar values and goals play a big part in a long term relationship.
As for sexual chemistry, think of it this way: if you are really only going to have sex with just one person for the rest of your life, it has to at least be good!
Do we really need to explain on why hanging out with someone with an addiction problem is major trouble? While it can be a tricky thing to handle, getting entangled with someone who has a dependency issue will put a serious strain on any relationship, both emotionally and physically. Best to cut your losses before it's too late.
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