Edward Cullen Doll Isn't as Cool as Other Ken Dolls
Jun 22, 2009 16:33
Yeah, Mattel made Twilight Barbies - Barbie as Bella Swan (who, we could've sworn, is actually way shorter than that), and Ken as Edward Cullen.
Well, actually they're not that cool. Cullen may have "golden" eyes, but does he sparkle? no. Does he have cool hair? no. Does he have exciting clothes? NO.
So let's take a look at the other Kens that outdo Cullen-Ken.
Glitter And Gold Rio: Now THAT is what you call flashy. You don't have to look deep into his eyes to see the gold - it jumps right out at you - so bright that he has to wear sunglasses! He even has a pink and GOLD pimped-out ride! He's so sparkly that he could kill the vampire Cullen-Ken with his presence!
Earring Magic Ken: What can we say? He out-shines Cullen and his boring outfit. Earring Magic Ken even has his bling bling which, Jezebel says, was pulled from the market "after an urban legend spread that his earring-inspired necklace was actually a cock ring." But still - look at his dazzling hair and smile! Can Edward Cullen beat that with his unseen fangs and crumply hair? I think not!
Rocker Ken: The silver astronaut-rock king outfit says it all! and look at the hairdo! Edward Cullen is only a vampire - can HE dazzle and rock it out? Does he have blown-dry cotton-candy blonde hair? We didn't think so either!
Dream Glow Ken: Cullen-Ken may dazzle us with his charisma - but he can't GLOW. Not like Dream Glow Ken can! He has an aura of sparkles - which makes the Vampire-boy not so special anymore.
Jewel Secrets Ken: The name says it all! Jewel Secrets Ken is just excreting sparkles from every inch of his frock. He also has secrets! Cullen-Ken may have secrets too - but does he have Jewels? NO. We don't think Cullen has a great chance in impressing the Barbie crowd with his lack of sparkle!
Bonus for Edward Cullen: Here's Buffy the Vampire Slayer! She isn't a Barbie, because she kills Vampires - and she's reffered to as an "action figure". Buffy would surely love to meet Cullen-Ken.
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