A respected scriptwriter, Andy Bodle admits to having been addicted to "paying for sex" in his past, which could explain why some men can't shake off their habit of hiring sex workers.
Bodle had spent all his savings over the course of 18 months, on "high class escort girls", being ashamed of what he's done in the past.
The writer grew up in a comfortable, middle-class upbringing in Wiltshire, and went to one of the country's top universities. He now has a successful career.
Bodle always had troubles with the ladies, ever since he was a teenager, and often got rejected and humiliated by girls he'd crushed on. Many a times he wasn't successful in dating women either, even in his early 20s.
"I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was going on. I wasn't a horrific-looking chap," he writes. "I was physically fit, funny and, with a good degree, had reasonable prospects. Yet life was one big round of 'You're too nice' and 'I don't want to ruin the friendship'"
While Bodle's career grew, his love life didn't. Everyone around him was "moving on" - getting married and having kids, or moving out - while he was still single, and losing hair by the time he was 29. Somehow he lost his self confidence along the way, feeling lonely.
The idea of paying for a female escort seemed "safe and very clean" to Bodle, who says: "It was like going on a really expensive date, but one where you were guaranteed a goodnight kiss."
Having beautiful women pay him uninterrupted attention must have made him feel better about himself, and boosted his self confidence (but obviously, the sex must have helped as well). His escorts would often tell him he's nice, funny, a gentleman or something along those lines.
He writes: "I'd spent an evening in the company of a beautiful woman, and she hadn't rejected me. I went to bed that night feeling a little less unwanted, a little bit better about myself."
Bodle reasons that he could meet very attractive women, with no risk of getting emotionally hurt, instead of hanging around in a bar waiting to pick up women.
He finally came to his senses when he hired an escort, Maya. She told him she'd been a model in Poland, but as she started to undress, Bodle "noticed a glistening in her eye." He didn't know what it was, but he was definitely sure the 20-year-old girl really didn't want to be there. He realized - with a pang - that some girls are forced into prostitution, to pay their bills and have a life.
After that experience, Bodle stopped going to sex workers, and some time later, came clean to his current girlfriend (with whom he says he's very happy), friends and family. However he writes: "I believe those escorts stopped me hating women. I feel gratitude towards those sweet, beautiful girls for the warmth they showed me."
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