Having the love of your life by your side feels like the most pleasant thing in the world, and it gets even more special when you are bonded in a marriage contract. But, not every relationship passes the test of time when responsibilities and monotony start to sink in.
Some relationships even get abusive, and statistically, abuse is more prevalent among husbands. It can get disconcerting to receive abuse from someone whom you love. You may feel so conflicted and confused about whether you should try to rectify the situation or leave the relationship for good.
Therefore, we have listed down a stepwise guideline about the template you should follow in dealing with an abusive husband.
If he is physically abusive:
There is no need for reconciliation here, and your reflex reaction should be to leave him immediately. There is no doubt that you will feel conflicted and may even be afraid to face his aggression, but you will have to act bravely for your own mental and physical health. Moreover, if he tries to intimidate you into coming back, contact the police and let them take care of him.
If he is verbally abusive:
Verbal abuse must be dealt with more flexibly because there is room for reconciliation, and it is not as extreme a situation as physical abuse.
Change your responses:
You cannot control his behavior because only he can do that, but you can put him off guard by changing your responses. It is highly likely that you plunge into depression due to constant verbal abuse and start to feel responsible.
In such cases, it is paramount to change your responses and find a logical middle ground and observe the cause and effect of a particular incident. Such analysis will help you lose some burden off your shoulders.
Talk to your husband:
Sort out your emotions appropriately and think about how are you going to present them to your husband. Tell him how you feel when he makes fun of you in front of his friends, or when he is insensitive to your complexes or when he takes a harsh tone with you.
Make him focus on his words:
This problem is not going to go away if your husband does not realize his choice of words and tone. Hence, make him understand the poor choice of words because so often does it happen that husbands are just careless and are ready to rectify once gotten aware of a particular situation.
Be vocal during the argument:
If your silence and later complaints are not doing the job, then start being vocal during the argument in a reasonable way to set some limits to the abuse. Tell him that you are not going to cope with him if he continues to be insensitive.
It is vital to set some limits without being aggressive because verbal abuse can snowball into physical abuse, which should be met with zero tolerance.
Develop an exit plan:
If you feel your relationship is headed towards a dead-end, then develop an exit plan. Save some money and derive support from your loved ones. Also, know that if this abuse turns physical, it crosses into personal injury, and law then can come to your rescue. It will then be a good idea to hire a competent attorney like the famous injury attorney in Troy, NY.
In a nutshell, while some women find the tricks to train their husbands, some are abused by them. But, if you are among the latter, do not feel helpless if you are stuck with an abusive husband because you can still do plenty of things if you sort out your emotional baggage with the help of a counselor and loved ones.
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